Elicia and Dave's Christmas list

Just in case any of you out there were wondering what's on our list or needed any ideas...

Elicia's List
Bread machine
DKNY Apple perfume (the green one)
Tickets to go see Phantom of the Opera
Gift certificate to get a massage from Healing Hands
Epson printer that can print 12 X 12
Cricut machine
Roaster oven (to roast a turkey, $30)
Gift certificates to A.C. Moore, Lane Bryant, Borders, Bath & Body Works, Payless Shoes
Caucasian family doll set & accessories [for play therapy] ($20 at www.backtobasicstoys.com)
Intuiton shaving cartridges
Socks (ankle cut/bootie), dress socks



Dave’s List
Weedwacker (not that he really wants one, but we need one)
“Cars” game for PlayStation 2, "Scarface" game for PSP, "Gun: The Showdown" game for PSP
boxes of ammo (Winchester 9mm)
gift certificate to Cabela’s, Blockbuster, Best Buy, Army-Navy Store
CD's: new Tool CD, Local H


for both of us
gift certificates for the movies
gift certificates to Olive Garden, Chilis, or Don Pablo’s
Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture DVD game


**This list will be updated until closer to Christmas

Things you thought you'd never hear yourself say...

Did you ever realize the things that come out of your mouth now that you're a parent? Here are some things you probably never thought you'd hear yourself say:

1. Put that poop down! (followed by) Let's go wash that poop off your hands.
2. My nipples really hurt.
3. I'm going pee-pee, can you go pee-pee too?
4. You have vomit on your shoe...and your shirt...and in your hair.
5. Would you like to watch some more TV baby?
6. Can I shower alone please?
7. What did the poop look like?
8. What did the puke look like?
9. Did I get all the puke out of my hair?
10. No peeing on the floor!
11. Mommy will given you another cookie and some juice if you will just go sit down for a moment.... (I swore I would not bribe with food or give lots of sugary stuff!)
12. This is your belly, and this is your girl parts.... (I swore I would use the correct words!)

Have any you'd like to add to this list?? (I am, after all, rather new to this)

You might be a redneck if...

Not to steal Jeff Foxworthy's line, but I can not believe some of the incredibly redneck products that I am seeing lately! I have to share this with everyone, in case you haven't noticed:

1. not only do they sell a camouflage onesie for boys, but they also make one for girls that has a
lacy ruffle across the bottom
2. camouflage lingerie
3. bullet casing shot glasses, shower curtain holders, and toothbrush holders
4. back seat gun racks (these attach to your car seats to hold guns in place--what better place!)
5. in case camouflaging all your accessories (even bedding, shower curtains, and dinnerware) is
not enough you can also get camouflage "parkas" for your hunting dogs
6. mini metal detector to scan your meat before cooking to make sure you got all the bullets out
"Just wrap the scanning head in plastic wrap and scan all the meat you're cooking!"
(also helpful for locating your family's cranial plates)

the topper of the list:
camouflage bedding set for a crib (see image above)
--maybe it's just me, but this really blows my mind! Who would buy this for their baby?!?!
Or maybe the bigger question is, WHY? Instead of a stuffed animal, will they put a toy
gun in the crib? [courtesy of Ducks Unlimited catalog