New Parent Advice
I finally gathered some wisdom about being a new parent and other such things. I'm not claiming to be an expert, but am merely sharing some things from my experience, friends' experiences, plus some of my knowledge from my professional experiences in some cases. Hopefully it might help someone out there.
Advice for New Parents
1. If you sleep when the baby sleeps, you'll never get anything done and your house will be a disaster.
2. On the other hand, realize what's most important. Playing with, reading to, or holding your child is more important than dishes that need to get done.
3. The first 6 weeks are really rough, but honestly, it gets a lot easier and routines develop. Then get ready for toddlerhood, because it's a lot more tough!
4. Don't worry about spoiling your baby--there is no such thing. So what if she sleeps in your bed for 6-12 months? So what if she has another cookie? Letting your child know she is loved and making her feel secure is most important.
5. As hard as it is, you need to make time for your relationship or you will drift apart. Having a new baby challenges a relationship. Try to go out on a date--just the 2 of you--at least once a week, or once a month if that's too much. Try to make time for the 2 of you to talk every night or as often as possible. The best time to do this is after the baby goes to sleep at night.
6. Don't rush your baby into any milestones or compare her to other babies. She'll do things when she's ready.
7. Don't fret over small things (and most of it is small stuff). A stain on your shirt does not really matter. Pee on the floor can be cleaned up. Your pediatrician might get you all worried about something that turns out to be nothing. Just relax!!!
8. Splurge on a video monitor (a baby monitor that comes with a TV screen you can put at your bedside). It gives you peace of mind, being able to watch your baby breathe without having to get up and check every minute or potentially disturb the baby.
9. Document everything. Write down milestones, first times, funny things that happened that day, etc. If you don't have your baby book handy, just write it down on a scrap of paper so at least you have it down, and copy it in later. You will want to remember all these details later. Also consider taking up scrapbooking as a hobby, it's a great way to preserve memories, stories, and photos.
10. Don't give up on breastfeeding, if it is something you really want to do. Keep trying harder, longer, seek professional help if all else fails. You may really regret giving up later.
11. Don't be afraid of taking too many photos--you can't have too many photos of your child's first few years. Consider splurging on a digital camera which will actually save you money because you can delete all those shots that don't get, and you can also save them on your computer for back up.
12. Despite how you may feel beforehand, being a mother really does come instinctively. You will know (more so, you will FEEL) what to do.
13. Don't EVER shake your baby, even for a second!! If you feel at all overwhelmed, leave baby safe in her crib, close her bedroom door, and walk away. Call someone, put on music or the TV to drown out the crying, go outside, etc. But make sure that you've first ruled out anything that might be causing her to cry (dirty diaper, hungry, cold, illness). [see below for ways to soothe baby]
14. Never leave your baby alone on her changing table for even a second. If you need to bend over to pick up something you dropped or such, leave your hand firmly on her chest or just put her in her crib untiil you have everything together.
15. There are ways to save money on things--see below for cost saving tips.
16. Buy diapers in bulk. Not only is this cheaper, but you won't be running out every week for more. Babies go through A LOT of diapers. However, don't buy too many of one kind if you don't know for sure if you like them. I highly recommed Pampers Swaddler for sizes newborn-2 (they only come up to size 2) and then Pampers Cruisers or Luvs. I and everyone I've talked to agree that Huggies stink, they leak and do not fit as well. Although their overnight diapers are not too bad. For generic diapers, I like Eckerd brand (with Snoopy on them) which are strong enough to last overnight but they really aren't much cheaper than name brand ones. K-Mart and Wal-Marts generic diapers are not that great, K-Mart's pretty awful actually. Although their newborn size worked the best for my daughter when she was first born because they were tiny enough. But the tabs are lousy.
17. My other favorite baby products: Huggies brand Mango & Coconut body wash and lotion, Johnson & Johnson scented baby power (vanilla and jasmie is really nice), Aveeno diaper rash cream (no scent, I HATE the smell of that popular brand, Desitin?), Johnson & Johnson naturals line, especially the face lotion stick, Gerber juice (Beechnut jars can be very hard to open).
18. Consider joining a book club for children, if you like books. There's one called Children's Book of the Month club. Overall, it comes out much cheaper to get books for your child (for example, your intro package will include 6-9 books for a total of around $30--one alone in the store will probably run you $12-15).
Top Baby Soothers
1. car rides (although this will probably only last until he/she learns to walk)
2. warm milk
3. blanket, swaddling baby securely in a blanket
4. music, particularly country or lullabyes
5. pacifiers, or let her suck on your finger
6. change of person
7. change of scenery (take baby outside, for a ride, visit family, to a different room, etc.)
8. going for a walk/stroller ride
9. being held OR being put down (sometimes babies get too stimulated or need alone time)
10. singing to baby
11. distraction (put on baby friendly TV, give a snack, change of scenery, give a toy, etc.)
12. quiet time, alone time in crib possibly with soft relaxing music
13. baby massage
14. warm bath (although this got my daughter more energized)
Things I've found that aren't so good
1. vacuums (I read before my daugher was born that babies like the sound of vacuums, but I haven't heard of a single baby yet who doesn't scream when it's on)
2. dryer (it can actually be unsafe to leave baby in car seat on dryer)
3. other types of music (even "heavier" classical can be more stimulating than relaxing to a baby)
4. "adult" TV
5. avoid loud sounds (this seems obvious, but I know some men who crank up the stereo volume in response to a crying baby)
Things I wish people had told me before I had a baby/gave birth
1. Kids are expensive. Like you know they're going to be expensive, but they are even more so than you had anticipated. BUT somehow, things usually work out. Probably because you sacrifice things for youself so your child can have things.
2. After childbirth, you bleed A LOT for A LONG TIME. No one told me to buy pads in bulk. And bring home a bunch of those icy pack ones the hospital has, you'll need them. Or if not, try bags of frozen peas to sit on.
3. Having milk-engorged breasts is really messy and you basically have to wear a bra and pads all the time. Not very comfortable.
4. You will fight with your spouse a lot more (for example, "Whose getting up at 3 am for the 4th time?")
5. Taking a childbirth class really is important and necessary. And make sure your significant other goes, too, so your childbirth coach will know how to help you.
6. Labor drugs (e.g. epidural) may not actually help you, and could even make things worse for you. Not to mention that they do have an effect on the baby.
7. Going along with that, make sure you have a back up plan to your ideal birth plan. Don't be 100% certain you're going to do it natural, and then be totally unprepared when you have to be induced or you need a C-section and your plan goes to hell.
8. Make sure you have the camcorder rolling (present somewhere in the room) when the big moment happens--you probably won't think to turn it on in those final few minutes, and you don't want to miss it.
9. YOU. WILL. BE. SLEEP. DEPRIVED. For months. Or years. Get used to it.
10. No one told me how utterly wonderful, amazing, rewarding, and worth it all it is to have a child. If you didn't before, you will understand the meaning of unconditional love.
Money saving tips for new or to-be parents
1. clip coupons (or have family members do it for you)
2. sign up for coupons on the internet at your formula's website, or Pampers for diapers, at stores in the mall for children's clothing, etc.
3. buy diapers in bulk (e.g. BJ's or Sam's Club) and make sure to use those coupons too
4. instead of buying movies, tape them off of TV or just tape 1/2 hour shows OR join Netflix which is much cheaper (for $10-18 a month you can get tons of Baby Einstein or other videos, versus $15-20 to buy one)
5. sign up not only yourself, but your best friend and mother to receive formula discount coupons
6. become a yard sale junkie--recruit family members from different towns to alert you when there's one around
7. go to used kids' stuff stores--some things are not much cheaper, but it's still cheaper and sometimes you can get good deals
8. share or exchange things with a friend who has a baby (rotate toys, share clothes, split extras you have of something)
9. ask family or a friend to baby-sit instead of hiring a sitter
10. get a digital camera--as I mentioned above, it's more up front but it will save you money not having to develop all those blurry or "missed the moment" pictures
11. watch for sales and look for clearance racks. Department and big name stores may have expensive baby clothing, but when it gets marked down you can get great stuff cheap! For example, end of winter sale at Baby Gap got my daughter a gorgeous wool coat for $19, Macy's sale got her a fancy $80 dress for only $13. I've gotten things for less than a $1 at Macy's. Old Navy and Baby Gap are also places where things get marked down to as low as $1-3 when they hit the clearance rack.
(If I think of more things, I will add them in later. If I'm missing some things you think are good, email me and I will add them).
Advice for New Parents
1. If you sleep when the baby sleeps, you'll never get anything done and your house will be a disaster.
2. On the other hand, realize what's most important. Playing with, reading to, or holding your child is more important than dishes that need to get done.
3. The first 6 weeks are really rough, but honestly, it gets a lot easier and routines develop. Then get ready for toddlerhood, because it's a lot more tough!
4. Don't worry about spoiling your baby--there is no such thing. So what if she sleeps in your bed for 6-12 months? So what if she has another cookie? Letting your child know she is loved and making her feel secure is most important.
5. As hard as it is, you need to make time for your relationship or you will drift apart. Having a new baby challenges a relationship. Try to go out on a date--just the 2 of you--at least once a week, or once a month if that's too much. Try to make time for the 2 of you to talk every night or as often as possible. The best time to do this is after the baby goes to sleep at night.
6. Don't rush your baby into any milestones or compare her to other babies. She'll do things when she's ready.
7. Don't fret over small things (and most of it is small stuff). A stain on your shirt does not really matter. Pee on the floor can be cleaned up. Your pediatrician might get you all worried about something that turns out to be nothing. Just relax!!!
8. Splurge on a video monitor (a baby monitor that comes with a TV screen you can put at your bedside). It gives you peace of mind, being able to watch your baby breathe without having to get up and check every minute or potentially disturb the baby.
9. Document everything. Write down milestones, first times, funny things that happened that day, etc. If you don't have your baby book handy, just write it down on a scrap of paper so at least you have it down, and copy it in later. You will want to remember all these details later. Also consider taking up scrapbooking as a hobby, it's a great way to preserve memories, stories, and photos.
10. Don't give up on breastfeeding, if it is something you really want to do. Keep trying harder, longer, seek professional help if all else fails. You may really regret giving up later.
11. Don't be afraid of taking too many photos--you can't have too many photos of your child's first few years. Consider splurging on a digital camera which will actually save you money because you can delete all those shots that don't get, and you can also save them on your computer for back up.
12. Despite how you may feel beforehand, being a mother really does come instinctively. You will know (more so, you will FEEL) what to do.
13. Don't EVER shake your baby, even for a second!! If you feel at all overwhelmed, leave baby safe in her crib, close her bedroom door, and walk away. Call someone, put on music or the TV to drown out the crying, go outside, etc. But make sure that you've first ruled out anything that might be causing her to cry (dirty diaper, hungry, cold, illness). [see below for ways to soothe baby]
14. Never leave your baby alone on her changing table for even a second. If you need to bend over to pick up something you dropped or such, leave your hand firmly on her chest or just put her in her crib untiil you have everything together.
15. There are ways to save money on things--see below for cost saving tips.
16. Buy diapers in bulk. Not only is this cheaper, but you won't be running out every week for more. Babies go through A LOT of diapers. However, don't buy too many of one kind if you don't know for sure if you like them. I highly recommed Pampers Swaddler for sizes newborn-2 (they only come up to size 2) and then Pampers Cruisers or Luvs. I and everyone I've talked to agree that Huggies stink, they leak and do not fit as well. Although their overnight diapers are not too bad. For generic diapers, I like Eckerd brand (with Snoopy on them) which are strong enough to last overnight but they really aren't much cheaper than name brand ones. K-Mart and Wal-Marts generic diapers are not that great, K-Mart's pretty awful actually. Although their newborn size worked the best for my daughter when she was first born because they were tiny enough. But the tabs are lousy.
17. My other favorite baby products: Huggies brand Mango & Coconut body wash and lotion, Johnson & Johnson scented baby power (vanilla and jasmie is really nice), Aveeno diaper rash cream (no scent, I HATE the smell of that popular brand, Desitin?), Johnson & Johnson naturals line, especially the face lotion stick, Gerber juice (Beechnut jars can be very hard to open).
18. Consider joining a book club for children, if you like books. There's one called Children's Book of the Month club. Overall, it comes out much cheaper to get books for your child (for example, your intro package will include 6-9 books for a total of around $30--one alone in the store will probably run you $12-15).
Top Baby Soothers
1. car rides (although this will probably only last until he/she learns to walk)
2. warm milk
3. blanket, swaddling baby securely in a blanket
4. music, particularly country or lullabyes
5. pacifiers, or let her suck on your finger
6. change of person
7. change of scenery (take baby outside, for a ride, visit family, to a different room, etc.)
8. going for a walk/stroller ride
9. being held OR being put down (sometimes babies get too stimulated or need alone time)
10. singing to baby
11. distraction (put on baby friendly TV, give a snack, change of scenery, give a toy, etc.)
12. quiet time, alone time in crib possibly with soft relaxing music
13. baby massage
14. warm bath (although this got my daughter more energized)
Things I've found that aren't so good
1. vacuums (I read before my daugher was born that babies like the sound of vacuums, but I haven't heard of a single baby yet who doesn't scream when it's on)
2. dryer (it can actually be unsafe to leave baby in car seat on dryer)
3. other types of music (even "heavier" classical can be more stimulating than relaxing to a baby)
4. "adult" TV
5. avoid loud sounds (this seems obvious, but I know some men who crank up the stereo volume in response to a crying baby)
Things I wish people had told me before I had a baby/gave birth
1. Kids are expensive. Like you know they're going to be expensive, but they are even more so than you had anticipated. BUT somehow, things usually work out. Probably because you sacrifice things for youself so your child can have things.
2. After childbirth, you bleed A LOT for A LONG TIME. No one told me to buy pads in bulk. And bring home a bunch of those icy pack ones the hospital has, you'll need them. Or if not, try bags of frozen peas to sit on.
3. Having milk-engorged breasts is really messy and you basically have to wear a bra and pads all the time. Not very comfortable.
4. You will fight with your spouse a lot more (for example, "Whose getting up at 3 am for the 4th time?")
5. Taking a childbirth class really is important and necessary. And make sure your significant other goes, too, so your childbirth coach will know how to help you.
6. Labor drugs (e.g. epidural) may not actually help you, and could even make things worse for you. Not to mention that they do have an effect on the baby.
7. Going along with that, make sure you have a back up plan to your ideal birth plan. Don't be 100% certain you're going to do it natural, and then be totally unprepared when you have to be induced or you need a C-section and your plan goes to hell.
8. Make sure you have the camcorder rolling (present somewhere in the room) when the big moment happens--you probably won't think to turn it on in those final few minutes, and you don't want to miss it.
9. YOU. WILL. BE. SLEEP. DEPRIVED. For months. Or years. Get used to it.
10. No one told me how utterly wonderful, amazing, rewarding, and worth it all it is to have a child. If you didn't before, you will understand the meaning of unconditional love.
Money saving tips for new or to-be parents
1. clip coupons (or have family members do it for you)
2. sign up for coupons on the internet at your formula's website, or Pampers for diapers, at stores in the mall for children's clothing, etc.
3. buy diapers in bulk (e.g. BJ's or Sam's Club) and make sure to use those coupons too
4. instead of buying movies, tape them off of TV or just tape 1/2 hour shows OR join Netflix which is much cheaper (for $10-18 a month you can get tons of Baby Einstein or other videos, versus $15-20 to buy one)
5. sign up not only yourself, but your best friend and mother to receive formula discount coupons
6. become a yard sale junkie--recruit family members from different towns to alert you when there's one around
7. go to used kids' stuff stores--some things are not much cheaper, but it's still cheaper and sometimes you can get good deals
8. share or exchange things with a friend who has a baby (rotate toys, share clothes, split extras you have of something)
9. ask family or a friend to baby-sit instead of hiring a sitter
10. get a digital camera--as I mentioned above, it's more up front but it will save you money not having to develop all those blurry or "missed the moment" pictures
11. watch for sales and look for clearance racks. Department and big name stores may have expensive baby clothing, but when it gets marked down you can get great stuff cheap! For example, end of winter sale at Baby Gap got my daughter a gorgeous wool coat for $19, Macy's sale got her a fancy $80 dress for only $13. I've gotten things for less than a $1 at Macy's. Old Navy and Baby Gap are also places where things get marked down to as low as $1-3 when they hit the clearance rack.
(If I think of more things, I will add them in later. If I'm missing some things you think are good, email me and I will add them).
posted by The Stein Family | 10:30 PM
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