Photos from Gary Allen concert

Here are some photos from the Gary Allen concert at Penn's Peak on March 11. I took a lot of pictures but they didn't get very well, so the two I posted were ones that came out the best. The bottom one is of me and my Mom, who was working at the concert that night. She got my Grandmother and I tickets.

Yes, the concert was good. I got to go up in the VIP box briefly, courtesy of my Mom and her friend who was on duty working up there. That was a really cool experience! My favorite Gary Allen song is "Smoke Rings in the Dark" although I also really like "Life Isn't Always Beautiful." One of the neat concert moments was when the piano/keyboard player (who seemed tipsy from the beginning of the concert) drank an entire Corona while playing with the other hand. I appreciate this as a pianist, though, not as someone who drinks!

New scrapbooking pages

This is a page I made to showcase Alaina's article that was in the Times News. The best thing about this page is that it was really cheap to make! I got a pack of 8 pieces of paper for $1 at Dollar Tree and I cut 2 in half and spliced together. The round, metallic circles going down the left side were also $1, in a pack of 12. I used scraps of paper and my stamp set to make the rest.
This is a page I made for Dave. I like it because it's simple, yet "geometrically complex." You can't see the shapes behind the photo too well, but I angled a diamond behind the square, and then another square behind that. I didn't worry about cutting any of the white word squares even, tho.
I really like this page. I used 5 different shades and patterned green papers, most of them handmade papers which were ripped for effect. The grass and butterflies are stickers, as well as the yellow flowers at the top (which are cheap stickers from Wal-Mart). I used some digital scrapbooking techniques--printing out text onto 12 X 12 patterend paper, which I cut down to fit into my printer.
This is a really cute page. It's a teddy bear theme. It's hard to see in the photo, but I used 2 different papers, tearing the red half and pasting over the white side. I searched online for a poem about teddy bears and I found this cute one, entitled "If Teddy Bears Ruled the World" which I think really sets off the page. Well, I'm not thrilled with the placement, but the page needed some sort of words or sayings on it to complete it.

A poem to think about

I first read this poem many years ago--it was a page in my Chicken Soup desk calendar. It really made an impression on me and I saved it. Before Alaina was born, I typed it up in fancy font and printed it out on design paper and framed it. It's now hanging in Alaina's room. I thought I would share it with all of you, and I hope you take some time to ponder it--either as a new mother who might think "I'm going to make sure I do all those things" or maybe as a mother of an now-adult child wishing she had done them more.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting, and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

I received an email the other day that made think about this poem. I'm sure most of you got the email (as I probably forwarded it to you), but I'm going to post it up here anyway.
Mean Moms
**************
Someday when my children are old enough tounderstand the logic that motivates a parent, Iwill tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough . . . to ask where you weregoing, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk," I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room,a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when thepenalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were,and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour,we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had thenerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes,make the beds, learn to cook,vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trashand all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at nightthinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth,the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers,she could read our minds and had eyes in theback of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk thehorn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13,we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for anything! It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

Isn't it so amazing and ironic that you can't understand these things until you become a parent yourself? As a teenager you do see all these things as your parent being "mean." I know because I myself had a "mean" Mom (and Dad). Even when I was an adult, and thought I was so mature, I did not fully understand these concepts. It took me becoming a mother myself to completely comprehend. And it fills me with a bit of sadness to know that at some point, Alaina is going to hate me when I tell her she can't dress like Brittany Spears (or whoever is popular then)! It also makes me sad because I wish we could realize how much our parents love us when we are kids, so we could appreciate it and be closer to them.

A scrapbook page for a contest

The magazine Scrapbook Answers is having a contest to submit travel pages and I decided to improve this page to make it (hopefully) contest-worthy. Before the only thing on the page was the photo with the red flame background--and none of the extra flames behind beefing it up. So I spent a lot of time putting the rest of it together and I think it came out pretty good--although it's hard to tell since I still haven't mastered the art of photographing these pages!

I spent the most time trying to make the flames look as real as possible. To get the final effect, I ended up combining various color of cardstock (yellow and red) with various colors and textures of handmade papers (orange, maroon with gold flecks). I layered them, staggered them and gave them different heights.

I really enjoyed making this page because of the letter tiles. I didn't measure exact squares but just randomly cut because I wanted an uneven effect.

Some poetry

As I've mentioned before, my poetry is something that I've generally not shared with anyone except Dave, whom I used to write quite a few poems for. I think that poetry is such an intimate type of writing, private thoughts or secret thoughts, which for me makes it difficult to share. And it's different from other types of writing in that it hurts more to have someone reject it or dislike it because, I think, the writing is much more intimate. It's been a dream of mine to get some of my poetry published, but I just haven't put the effort out yet into pursuing that dream. Well, for those of you who don't know, I did have a poem published in an anthology when I was in high school (in 1994). But I'm talking about my own, personal poetry book. I've always had this feeling, though, that my poetry won't become known until I die. I'll be one of those posthumously famous writers!

By the way, I would like to mention here that my absolute favorite poet is e.e. cummings. I think if you see my poetry, you can see his influence in there. Well actually, I wrote much of my poetry like this (e.g. lowercase letters) before even discovering him and I used to get criticized by a few high school English teachers who said "you can't write poetry like that." My other favorite poets are Emily Dickinson and Dylan Thomas.

Well, for those of you are interested (and willing to lie to me if you don't like it!) here are a few of my poems that I'm [more] comfortable sharing. Most likely the formatting is going to get messed up when the posts go online so please excuse that they probably do not look or are not phrased like they should be.

"the rose" written 2-19-98
erotic, deep red silk
soft, smooth like velvet,
rich,
intoxicating scent
tantalizing
seductive...yet so pure
shapely, curvy
swelling together
climaxing at the scarlet bud
beneath the cup of the sensuous body
lies the thick stem
speckled with erect thorns
hungering for a spot of blood
stretching down, down, reaching
to meet the soft pure earth
where it plants itself
deep

(here's a more radical one so brace yourself!)

"A Christian's Loyalty" written 5-96
Your Messiah is calling to you
(Are you going to go?)
Would you die for Him
As He died for you?

Would you bleed in your soul?
Woud you carry the shame?
Would you rule over sinners?
Would you die in His name?
Will you cry, cry as you feel His pain?

Would you bear the scars
of His torture?
Would you scream
as they drove in the nails?
Would you suffer, suffer in His place?

Your Messiah is calling to you
(Are you going to go?)
Will you die for Him
as He died for you?

"My heart" written 7/25/96 while I was in Turkey
Crying alone on this one starry night
I look to the heavens
I search in the night
My heart, it lies heavy
My heart, it is blind
It leads me in the shadows
in the valleys
in the meadows...
And I am alone
to be alone forever...
The moon, she sees me cry
and her eyes, they water, too
Her tears fall on me as rain
And my tears, they fall for you
My heart, it blurs my vision
My memories haunt my head
The ghosts of all our precious moments
They linger...are not dead
My heart, it bleeds
As I die inside
As I crumble, break and tear
And you...you left,
alas, you are not there
(here)
My heart, it mourns
(the loving fool)
It cries unto the night
It looks, it longs, it yearns for you
Its love still burns so bright
But alas, my love,
my heart is blind
And only it could lie to you...
So I cry to the stars,
cry to the moon
cry now that you are gone
But my heart speaks in mysteries
Of love that was lost
a love it felt for you...
And I look to the heavens
and search in the night
But you are long gone...
far away...
The moon, she sees me cry
and her eyes, they water too
She cries for me,
she cries for me,
But she also cries for you......

"moon" written 5-27-96
the moon is bleeding
(as is my heart)
feeling the loss of its love
the stars
they've grown so dim...
my heart is bleeding
(I will never be real)
the tears they fall as blood
the cheese of the moon is scarlet
it shines as I shine
(from within)
I see the moon and the moon sees me
And oh, it bleeds,
(it bleeds for me)

There are a few others I started to type up here and then I changed my mind. I think a lot of my poetry is too radical, bizarre, or yes, I've written a lot of erotic poetry which I am not willing to post up here even though most of that is my best stuff. Many of my radical poems are about religion, one of which I posted up here that I didn't think would offend or disturb quite as much! Well, if you would like to see more you will have to let me know.

Just a little note...(random musings)

Okay, on here I am going to do a bit of something I said I wouldn't-- a bit of an online journal. I just wanted to share a thought I had tonight. I was hanging out playing with Alaina, trying to get her to practice coloring, and after she lost interest I decided to color a page myself. I spent a while coloring this page and it was great. I miss coloring!! Such a simple, relaxing task and in the end you are rewarded with a colorful, cheery picture. You can just completely blank out your mind to only focus on the basic task at hand. And I thought: Why is it that adults don't color? Obviously because it's an embarassing, too child-like thing for an adult to do. But why is that? Why is it that at a certain point in our lives it becomes inappropriate to color, unless of course the time comes when we have a child in our lives to use as excuse to engage in such a pleasing activity?

Speaking as a therapist and future psychologist, I would highly recommend this activity as something for patients to do--if I wouldn't be laughed at (and wanted my patient to return). Really, shouldn't we all just relax and lose ourselves in coloring more often????

Scrapbooking--Page Photos

It's very difficult to photograph scrapbook pages, particularly at night when they are in glossy pages! But anyway, this is a photo of the most recent page I made. It features pink polka-dot photo corners, punch out butterflies, a handmade pink paper heart, and pink polka-dot ribbon. Handmade paper looks the best if you rip it, which gives it the neat effect. The ribbon I glued onto white paper to make it more sturdy and stand out more from the black. Getting Alaina to make the hand print is a whole other long story!!
This page was done at the free scrapbooking seminar A.C. Moore had this past weekend. I really liked this black "old journal" paper but I had only taken a family photo with me (you couldn't just take the paper) so I managed to make it work and I really like the finished effect. I did a "cherish" theme with definitions, a metal plate (at top). The frayed paper behind the photo is again handmade paper which I tore. Finally, the other accent is the punched out pieces from a sunflower punch they had at the seminar which I absolutely loved.
I am pretty proud of this page although I still don't think it looks as good as the model I was following. It's a spaghetti and meatballs theme. I couldn't get a good shot of it so 1/2 of the page is missing, but there's six meatballs which feature pictures, scattered randomly amid a bed of noodles. At the top of the page there is a meatball which says "Spaghetti" to title the page and I wrote it out by hand in elongated, bubble letters that look like noodles. It took me a REALLY long time to make this page. It takes a lot of work measuring all the photos to fit on meatballs and all the cutting of meatballs and noodles. I've been looking into buying a circle cutter, but I've realized that I can save that money just by using things around the house--an old cup, canisters, jar lids, etc. for various size circles.
This is my "Superbaby" theme page. I spent a long time, and had several disasters, trying to hand-make a superman symbol in girly colors (instead of just printing out the regular one from a website). It still didn't turn out well but I gave up and made do with this one. The page is a little busy but I just couldn't decide what paper I wanted to use so I mixed them all.

These are my more recent pages. If any of you are interested in seeing more, I can photograph and post some of my older pages that came out well. I have 2 scrapbooks going--one for Alaina and then one for Dave & myself (or a family one). Dog pages go into the family book, although I've done a few really cute pages of Alaina and Blackjack together. Let me know what you'd like to see!

Scrapbooking

So this will be my first post about scrapbooking. I LOVE to scrapbook. It's a very expensive hobby but very fun, and more and more people are starting to get into it. In fact, someone I know just had a scrapbooking party where a bunch of people get together and trade stuff and make pages together. I would really like to have one of those and I wanted to get feedback from all my friends & family--who would like to come? And when should we have it? It doesn't matter if you don't already scrapbook because this would be a great place to come to get started, as you can get tips and we'll even give you stuff to get you started on a page or two. So please let me know if you're interested!

I just recently made some really neat pages. I thought that I was pretty good at scrapping until I got this scrapbooking magazine where these pages are just awesome, and in comparison mine look really shoddy and unprofessional. So I've started to try to make my pages look more professional. I think I'm going to go back and re-do many of mine to make them look better, now that I feel I have more ideas (and maybe skills).