Elicia and Dave's Christmas list

Just in case any of you out there were wondering what's on our list or needed any ideas...

Elicia's List
Bread machine
DKNY Apple perfume (the green one)
Tickets to go see Phantom of the Opera
Gift certificate to get a massage from Healing Hands
Epson printer that can print 12 X 12
Cricut machine
Roaster oven (to roast a turkey, $30)
Gift certificates to A.C. Moore, Lane Bryant, Borders, Bath & Body Works, Payless Shoes
Caucasian family doll set & accessories [for play therapy] ($20 at www.backtobasicstoys.com)
Intuiton shaving cartridges
Socks (ankle cut/bootie), dress socks



Dave’s List
Weedwacker (not that he really wants one, but we need one)
“Cars” game for PlayStation 2, "Scarface" game for PSP, "Gun: The Showdown" game for PSP
boxes of ammo (Winchester 9mm)
gift certificate to Cabela’s, Blockbuster, Best Buy, Army-Navy Store
CD's: new Tool CD, Local H


for both of us
gift certificates for the movies
gift certificates to Olive Garden, Chilis, or Don Pablo’s
Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture DVD game


**This list will be updated until closer to Christmas

Things you thought you'd never hear yourself say...

Did you ever realize the things that come out of your mouth now that you're a parent? Here are some things you probably never thought you'd hear yourself say:

1. Put that poop down! (followed by) Let's go wash that poop off your hands.
2. My nipples really hurt.
3. I'm going pee-pee, can you go pee-pee too?
4. You have vomit on your shoe...and your shirt...and in your hair.
5. Would you like to watch some more TV baby?
6. Can I shower alone please?
7. What did the poop look like?
8. What did the puke look like?
9. Did I get all the puke out of my hair?
10. No peeing on the floor!
11. Mommy will given you another cookie and some juice if you will just go sit down for a moment.... (I swore I would not bribe with food or give lots of sugary stuff!)
12. This is your belly, and this is your girl parts.... (I swore I would use the correct words!)

Have any you'd like to add to this list?? (I am, after all, rather new to this)

You might be a redneck if...

Not to steal Jeff Foxworthy's line, but I can not believe some of the incredibly redneck products that I am seeing lately! I have to share this with everyone, in case you haven't noticed:

1. not only do they sell a camouflage onesie for boys, but they also make one for girls that has a
lacy ruffle across the bottom
2. camouflage lingerie
3. bullet casing shot glasses, shower curtain holders, and toothbrush holders
4. back seat gun racks (these attach to your car seats to hold guns in place--what better place!)
5. in case camouflaging all your accessories (even bedding, shower curtains, and dinnerware) is
not enough you can also get camouflage "parkas" for your hunting dogs
6. mini metal detector to scan your meat before cooking to make sure you got all the bullets out
"Just wrap the scanning head in plastic wrap and scan all the meat you're cooking!"
(also helpful for locating your family's cranial plates)

the topper of the list:
camouflage bedding set for a crib (see image above)
--maybe it's just me, but this really blows my mind! Who would buy this for their baby?!?!
Or maybe the bigger question is, WHY? Instead of a stuffed animal, will they put a toy
gun in the crib? [courtesy of Ducks Unlimited catalog

Photos, Info on Lyme Disease, and More

This is a photo of my dachshund Blackjack which many of you have seen before but I wanted to post it again (I think it's on Alaina's website) because it's just too funny. I was looking for a recent photo of him and I just can't seem to find any ones I saved on my computer. So, here's this one.
LYME DISEASE
I also wanted to use this photo to set up for my soapbox: I wanted to tell everyone to make sure they get their dog checked and vaccinated for lyme disease. It's become increasingly bad in our area over the past 2-3 years, moving up from more southern areas. Just in our small town there have been 60+ cases this year. I didn't think anything of this because I have never found a tick on Blackjack, even though we live in the woods. I had found many on my other dog, but they don't seem to like the taste of Blackjack. Well, he went for a check-up at the vet and they asked if I wanted the lyme disease test done while they were doing the heartworm. I told them no, I didn't think it was necessary. They told me it was no extra cost, so I figured I might as well. Then I almost fell over a few minutes later when they told me it was positive!!!!! I didn't know what that meant, since I didn't know much about lyme diease in humans or in animals. I didn't know if it would kill him, or if he could spread it to us, or what. The vet told me that about 80% of animals never show any symptoms, but some show arthritic symptoms. A small percent can have serious problems like with their kidneys. Pets can also be infected with the disease for a long time before showing symptoms, or their owners finding out they are positive. The vet also told me that the deer ticks that spread it are so tiny we probably wouldn't have seen it. I rountinely do tick checks on him, but the vet said these ticks would be about the size of a pin head so they are very easy to miss. Since he tested positive, he had to take antibiotics for a month, get a shot plus a booster shot a few weeks later. He will continue to test positive for several months, but hopefully some point in the future he will test negative and be fine. So... after this experience I wanted to tell everyone to make sure they get their pets checked out, even if you think your pet didn't have any ticks on him/her.

These two photos were taken in June at the Lehigh Valley Zoo, formerly Trexler Game Preserve. We went into the lorikeet pen and I had such a blast. I got a small cup of nectar (for an outrageous extra fee) to feed them. It was so neat being covered in the birds, and being groomed by them. Once they came, they didn't want to get off me. Amazingly, I didn't get a drop of poop on me despite the number of birds and how often they were pooping (they have this crazy projectile poop).
Here's a cute family photo of us at a picnic in July.
Oops, for some reason a duplicate picture got on here...
Another silly picture of the dog by our pond in the backyard. The stupid dog thinks he can catch these fish and frogs, but he hates water so he gets as close as he can without touching it or falling in. He seems to think that he is a mountain goat, climbing and perching on these rocks.
This is the incriminating family photo I spoke of earlier! This is Dave's 16 year old brother Andy. Wait until all his friends find out this picture is posted on the internet....! He was being goofy on the 4th of July and decided to climb into Alaina's giraffe boat after she got out. He thought the water was too cold so he was trying to keep warmer by staying in the boat.

Photos of Family and More

Here are a few photos from our trip to Pocono Cesar's in July. Here I am doing something I thought I would never do--or be any good at. I was so surprised to learn that I'm actually quite good at it!
Dave and I at Cesars by Lake Wallanpaupack. We took this photo of ourselves.
Out on the paddleboat at their Brookdale location.
We finally got the Champage Towers room and it was wonderful!!! I absolutely loved the champage glass whirpool. In fact, I was going to sleep in it the one night because it was so warm and comfortable. By the way, since everyone always wants to know--you get in the tub through the bathroom. There's a room you go into from the bathroom, then there is just a step down into the tub. It's aligned with the wall, which is where it gets its support.
The room also has a private heated heart-shaped pool. That's a great feature!
Here's a shot of some of my family at my grandmother's surprise 70th birthday party.
Here is the cake that my great aunt, my grandmother's sister, made for her party. The flowers were so detailed it was amazing! The small squares were made to look like quilt blocks because my grandmother loved to quilt.

I do have some more pictures to put up here--some rather incriminating photos of other family members!--that I will post at another date when I can find the CD with them on. I will also try to be more regular with putting postings up here. But then I don't really get any feedback or ideas from anybody, so please send some emails or post some comments!

Top Toddler Toys

Here are some great toys for kids ages 16 months and up. Alaina my 19 month old is currently really into these things. She really doesn't play with toys all that much; she's always preferred little stolen objects from around the house. So the fact that she's really into these things (and her interest has lasted for more than a fleeting moment) signifies to me that they must be pretty good toys. Note: she has an Elmo obsession so many of these toys are Elmo-related.

1. Aquadoodle
This is just a great product! You can feel free to let your toddler doodle with no worries
about whether the fish tank will end up crayoned. And it's really neat technology, too. For
those of you who aren't familiar: it's a mat that comes with a marker, which you fill (and
can refill, and refill) with water. The drawings fade after a few minutes, making room for
more drawings. Comes in various colors and versions: the Disney Princess version is
a pink mat and the pen writes in pink. Regular version writes blue. There are also
accessories such as shapes, plus mini character pages (we have an Elmo set).
2. a fish tank
I know this isn't a toy, but I highly recommend a fish tank for curious toddlers. I noticed
that my daughter was really into fish whenever we saw them outside the home. So I
got her a simple 10 gallon tank with 4 fish. It's a little bit of work but it's really one of the
best "toys" we have because she still loves it. She talks to the fish, says "night night" to
them every night, bye when we leave the house, etc. Plus sometimes she will just sit still
and watch the fish swim.
3. Avon body paints
Avon sells little bottles like roll-on deoderants that come in various colors and scents.
Your toddler can roll them over her body, leaving colorful trails. My daugher also really
enjoys coloring me when the opportunity arises.
4. cardboard construction blocks
Every toddler needs a set of these cheap but sturdy cardboard construction blocks (the
kind that look like bricks). If you get at least 2 sets, you can make cool forts which your
toddler will love destroying.
5. chicken dance Elmo/ Hokey Pokey Elmo
Alaina used to be afriad of her Hokey Pokey Elmo because of the grinding gear sounds.
But since she's been about a year old, it's been a favorite. I think she love Chicken Dance
Elmo even more, though. It gets her up and dancing every time, and it's hilarious when
she tries to make the chicken wings.
6. Fisher Price classical stacker
I don't remember the exact name of this toy because we've had it since before she was
even born. It's a plastic stacking tower with a star on top which plays music when pressed
down. She just really started getting into this toy a month or so ago, despite how long it's
been around. Now she's loves it.
7. jack in the box
No matter what character pops out, toddlers LOVE these things. Alaina was frustrated
at first because she found it hard to crank at first. But she practiced and now can do it
well herself. But she never ceases to be esctatic when the bunny pops out, like it's a new
surprise each and every time.
8. crayons, coloring books (and optional mini desk and chair set)
Although it can be a pain for us parents who have to scrub the crayon off the walls, they
seem to love nothing more than coloring. Alaina's grandmother has a small desk for her
to sit at for coloring and she is thrilled by that, and actually behaves much better at their
house--meaning she sits at her desk to color and doesn't draw on the walls. I also
recommend carrying a mini coloring book and crayons in the diaper bag for while you're
waiting for your meal at a restaurant. It's a great way to entertain them while waiting.
I also highly recommend washable crayons and Mr. Clean magic erasers.
9. bath tub Dora
This was Alaina's first favorite toy, which she took everywhere. It's a set of a plastic Dora
and small Boots squirt toy. Dora comes with a vest and flippers--the vest changes color
when wet. We took it on vacation, in the pool, in the lake, etc.
10. Bee Bop Band set
This is a drum which comes with several other instruments inside, as well as drums sticks.
Alaina loves to drum all over (she doesn't use the drum yet) but I'm pretty tolerant of
letting her make music wherever as long as she isn't hitting people or animals.
11. Mini Photo Album
Get a mini photo album and inside put photos of your child's family members, pets,
friends, favorite characters. You can even clip photos of other babies from magazines
because they love to look at other babies. I started out with a plain album but then found
a soft, fuzzy Elmo face album which is a huge hit. I keep it in the diaper bag and use it all
the time while waiting in line, waiting at a restaurant, etc.
12. Mini plastic animals
I started a small zoo of plastic animals for my daughter. We started with farm animals,
then got some more exotic ones. At 17 months old she could already pick out a tapir and
an okapi. If you're local, a great place to get accurate looking plastic animals is at the
Lehigh Valley Zoo (or probably other zoos).
13. Fisher Price A to Z Zoo
This is an interactive mat that comes with an animal for every letter of the alphabet. The
child can hear the animal's noise, name, and associated letter. It's also another good way
for your child to learn how to identify animals and learn their noises.
14. realistic mini piano
We have an antique mini spinet piano that was Alaina's grandmothers originally. It looks
like the real thing but is toddler size with 10-15 keys. She loves to jam on it (and its
usually the first thing her little friends play with when they come over).
15. Silly Parts Elmo
Like a Mr. Potato Head but with an Elmo, with costumes he wears in his shows, and it makes sounds.
16. stupid little things that make great toys:
--ice cubes: put a few on top of their high chair or freeze a chunk for the tub. They love
to watch them melt and disappear.
--empty spices bottles--I guess some would say this is not a safe toy, but if your
child can't open the top... But I put safe things inside anyway, such as rice
grains or other food objects that are safe--in the event she would get it open
open. They make great shakers.
--add water, food coloring, sparkles, beads or other objects to a small empty soda bottle
(a clear plastic bottle) and glue the cap on. Child can shake and watch the water move,
sparkles swirl around, hear beads shake, etc.
--old cell phones, old portable phones (they seem to like these real things better than any
kid phones you can buy)
--plastic easter eggs (they're still around, all over, months after Easter because Alaina
loves them nad has them all over the house, even in the bathrub where we fill them
with water)

Things that also make great toys for toddlers at this developmental level:
1) chunky simple puzzles, especially if shapes have textures (e.g. a sheep with wooly fur)
2) shape sorters--although I've found that the more basic it is, the less interesting it seems
3) things to make music and sounds (if all else fails while you're trying to make dinner, give um
a pot lid, wooden or plastic spoon, pan, etc.)
4) various size cups, colanders, empty water bottle, etc. for the tub



***I will add more as I think of them (I'm sure I forgot something!)
***sorry for the formatting, I don't know why this is so messed up!

Book Reviews

Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
REVIEW OF THIS BOOK SOON TO COME

Good Grief by Lolly Winston rating 5 out of 5
This book was excellent, I didn't want to put it down! It's about the stages of grief a 36 year old woman goes through after she loses her husband to cancer. It seems very realistic (true to life), and detailed, about what she experiences and how she feels. The book made me very emotional and sad. I felt her grief, too, even though it's just a story. I'm in the process of looking to see if this author wrote any other books, because I love her writing style and hope she has more books out there.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova rating 5 out of 5
This book is a sort of historical fiction (the narrator is recalling events from her childhood, and her father's youth so the time frame is mostly 1970's and 1930's) which is based in much fact. It only took me a few pages to be utterly engrossed in the book and I didn't want to put it down. However, if you don't enjoy learning about history, particularly that of foreign countries, you might not like this book. It discusses in much detail the history of Turkey and the Ottoman Emprire, Bulgaria, Romania, and Hungary. It's great for learning about other countries and their landmarks because the narrator tells of her and her father's extensive travels all over Europe and beyond. Reading the book makes me want to jump on a plane to go see all these sites! But the meat of the story revolves around the legend of Dracula, or Vlad Tepes as his true name was. Does he still exist? Do vampires still exist (and not the "fake" cult-like types)? People who live in these countries, where "Dracula" lived and horribly killed thousands of people, believe that he does.

I did find one flaw in this story, though, as far as vampire lore goes. While the author included all other vampire lore (using garlic, cruxifixes, impale through heart, etc.) she did not include the notion that vampires need to be invited into a dwelling. Legend has it that they cannot enter unless invited by a mortal. In this book, they do enter places--even churches--of their own will. I'm just not sure why this wasn't included or accepted into her story.

I highly recommend this book. It is very lengthy, however--656 pages. That's not a bad aspect to me, but it may be to someone.

Cross Bones by Kathy Reichs rating 3.5 out of 5
This is the latest book by Kathy Reichs, in her "series" of books about Dr.Temperance Brennan the forensic anthropologist. She is one of my favorite authors. I found this book much more difficult to read, however, than her other books. And it was different than her other books in that it involved a lot of history and historically factual infomartion, with a fiction story woven around it (in the afterward of her book, she explains the truth and the fiction and gives references). At many places it was hard to follow and understand. That is because it details a significant amount of religious history, which is a complex thing to take in and comprehend. I learned a lot, but many things I had to read over several times and I probably still won't retain and remember it. Also, while she writes for someone who is quite educated and has more than a basic knowledge of this info already, at times she gets repetitive and keeps harping at the same points but in a simplified way, as if she is trying to get the point across to a less-than-average IQ. However, what I really loved about the book is some of the controversial ideas she presents: what if Jesus did not die after the cruxifiction but lived on until an older age? How would this information change everything the major religions of the world believe? Some very intriguing thoughts--this book will get you thinking.


Cell by Stephen King rating 4.5 out of 5
I used to be a major King fan until his books started getting too sci-fi, implausible, and going downhill. I was wary about reading this one since the last few have been so bad. But much to my surprise, it was great!!! At first and at some parts throughout the book I wasn't sure he was going to be able to pull off the story, but somehow he makes it work and it was soooo good. I was thinking that I hope they make it into a movie, but since they usually kill his movies (as in, the movies come out like cheap horror flicks) maybe that's not a great idea.
The basic plot of the book is that some sort of pulse is sent out through everyone's cell phone, and whoever was on it at the time of the pulse is infected with this "virus" of sorts which makes them crazy zombie types who are out to destroy the world and the rest of the normal people. I know, it sounds odd, but again, he makes it into a great story. I guess that's why he's a master writer.

Kingston By Starlight by Christopher John Farley rating 4.5 out of 5
This book is historical fiction, so if you're not into that genre you may not like it. It's also a bit of a feminist type work. Would I lure you into reading this if I said it's about transvestite pirates? The story is set in 1700's (?) Jamaica, and revolves around a woman who disguises herself as a man so she can become a pirate. It was a great story about pirates--what their lives were like, how and why they became pirates, and so on. It was a different and interesting (and unexpected) read.

Manhattan Hunt Club by John Saul rating 3 out of 5
I found the whole idea behind this story to be just unbelieveable. Not implausible, but rather that I could imagine it being true but how insane that would be. I'm not sure how much I can say without giving away the story, but basically criminals are set free in the Manhattan subway and underground tunnels to be hunted like animals by the elite, upper class people of the city, many of course involved in government and even the police. It's an intense story, and disturbing to think about something like this happening.

Widow of the South by Robert Hicks rating 3.5 out of 5

This book is historical fiction, but based on factual events. It's set in Tennessee during the Civil War. The plot revolves around the main character, a woman who's home is transformed into a hosptial for the wounded during the war.

This book was really hard to get into. I forced myself to keep going, but I'd say it took until about page 100-something before I was actually looking forward to reading it. The main character is hard to understand and identify with, and when the book first opens you have no idea what is going on. It's only until the very last chapter that the beginning makes sense, and then you have to go back and re-read the first chapter. But at the end, I was sorry it was over. And the book left me wanting to visit the site of the main character's home (a real place in Tennessee) because as I reminded myself this was based on a true story, I was really moved by the actions she took to begin a cemetary for the wounded.

72 Hour Hold by Bebe Moore Campbell rating 3 out of 5

This book is all about a mother's struggle to handle her 18 year old daughter's mental illness--which is bipolar disorder with psychosis. It does a great job of describing what it's like to have a child diagnosed with a mental illness, as well as what it's like to deal with the system. There's an implausible part which detracts from the rest of the book--the mom finds an illegal "secret society" of sorts which claims it can help her daughter unlike the legal MH system. Because of her desperation, she considers this choice, and I won't ruin the story for you by telling you how it works out.

I'd recommend this book to people who are interested in psychology and mental illness, but otherwise you might not like it.

Little Known Facts

I got this list from another website, which I forgot to write down the address of. I've reduced the amount of things on the list and removed some "questionable" facts that I didn't think were accurate. I'm not sure all of these are accurate, but I'm just passing along the info.

Little Known Facts

1. Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.
2. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.
3. A shrimp's heart is in its head.
4. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).
5. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
6. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
7. Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.
8. By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.
9. Rats and horses can't vomit.
10. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
11. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
12. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
13. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
I14. f the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
15. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
16. Thirty five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
17. A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.
18. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
19. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.
20. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
21. Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it's known as Tennessee
22. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.
23. More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world
24. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second
25. Stewardesses' is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.
26. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
27. All the 50 states of America are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
28. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
29. Porcupines float in water
30. Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets combined.
31. The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
32. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum
33. The "huddle" in football was formed due a deaf football player who used sign language to communicate and his team didn't want the opposition to see the signals he used and in turn huddled around him.
34. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.
35. Windmills always turn counterclockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland
36. Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people
37. There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building
38. When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.
39. Coca Cola was originally green.
40. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
41. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.
42. The average American/Canadian drinks about 600 sodas a year
43. Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark
44. Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
45. The most used letter in the English alphabet is 'E', and 'Q' is the least used
46. A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night
47. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lighting than women
48. You're born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206
49. They have square watermelons in Japan... they stack better.
50. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.
51. Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet
52. A hummingbird weighs less than a penny
53. Dolphins sleep with one eye open
54. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie
55. Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight
56. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
57. One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet
58. It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them
59. Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung.
60. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reinade los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size,L.A.
61. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet
62. The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on it's fur
63. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation
27% of U.S. male college students believe life is "a meaningless existential hell."
64. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave
65. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day
66. The Earth weighs around 6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons
67. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
68. David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
69. In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.
70. Camel's milk does not curdle.
71. Slugs have 4 noses
72. A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth
73. When European explorers first saw kangaroos they asked an aboriginal what they were called. He replied "kangaroo" meaning "I don't understand your question". The explorers thought this was the animal's name.
74. Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States
75. There are 293 ways to make a change for a dollar.
76. Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.
77. Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
78. A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
79. Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows
80. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
81. The longest one syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
82. During his entire lifetime, Herman Melville's timeless classic of the sea, 'Moby Dick', only sold 50 copies.
83. In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow
84. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight.
85. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
86. In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not renumber the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.
87. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards.
Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.
88. Humans, dolphins, and pygmy monkeys are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
89. Polar bears are left handed.
90. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
91. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
92. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
93. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
94. Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class: $40,000.
95. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong.
96. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
97. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
98. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
99. Cost of raising a medium size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
100. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
101. Iceland consumes more Coca Cola per capita than any other nation.
102. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
103. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them would burn their houses down -- hence the expression "to get fired."
104. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
105. An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
106. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
107. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
108. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
109. If you bring a raccoon's head to the Henniker, New Hampshire Town Hall, you are entitled to receive $0.10 from the town.
110. Non-dairy creamer is flammable
111. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
112. Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
113. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
114. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
115. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
116. No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Super Bowl.
117. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".
118. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
119. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.
120. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
121. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
122. It takes 3000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs
123. Pearls melt in vinegar
124. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
125. Snails can sleep for three years without eating
126. Tommy Lee Jones and Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard
127. The Fingerprints of Koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
128. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands
129. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
130. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
131. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles
132. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
133. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
134. American car horns beep in the tone of F.
135. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
136. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
137. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
138. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
139. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
140. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
141. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
142. The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.
143. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
144. The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
145. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
146. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
147. Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
148. All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
149. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
150. The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly. And Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
151. Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton.
152. To call every telephone on the planet would take you until the year 3620.
153. If she were life size, Barbie's measurements are: 39-23-33
154. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
155. The longest place name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.
156. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
157. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
158. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone
159. Average number of people airborne over the US at any given hour: 61,000.
160. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
161. A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein.
162. The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.
163. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
164. Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.
165. Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
166. A bowling pin need only tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down.
167. A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away.
168. Robert E. Lee, of the Confederate Army, remains the only person, to date, to have graduated from the West Point military academy without a single demerit.
169. Croatia was the first country to recognize the United States in 1776.
170. Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows to mourn the deaths of their cats.
171. The bubbles in Guiness Beer sink to the bottom rather than float to the top like all other beers.
172. Because of the immense pressure, Jupiter's core is metal. This metal is hydrogen.
173. A hamlet is a village without a church and a town is not a city until it has a cathedral.
174. The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' depicts two women living under one roof.
175. The Chinese words for crisis and opportunity are the same.
176. The ashes of the average cremated person weigh nine pounds.
177. There are only 14 blimps in the world, and 10 of them are in the U.S.
178. If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.
179. Ralph Lauren's original name was Ralph Lifshitz.
180. 85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S
181. A bee has 5,000 nostrils. It can smell apple trees 2 miles away
182. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue
183. A hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day. Most of the sweat evaporates before a person realizes it's there, though
184. A hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute on average
185. A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a four foot tall child inside
186. A jellyfish is 95 percent water
187. A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court
188. A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years
189. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans
190. After eating, a housefly regurgitates its food and then eats it again
191. America once issued a 5-cent bill
192. Armadillos can be housebroken
193. Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool He changed it every 2 innings
194. Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day
195. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand
196. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
197. Denver's International Airport is larger than the entire city of Boston
198. Dogs and cats consume over $11 billion worth of pet food a year
199. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he didn't wear pants
200. During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants
201. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words -- none of them with the letter E *
202. Eskimo ice cream is neither icy, nor creamy
203. Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States
204. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails
205. Florida's Disney world is larger than the entire city of Buffalo, New York
206. Force exerted by the human jaw: 175 pounds. By the jaw of an African lion: 937 pounds
207. Hot water is heavier than cold water
208. Human beings have 46 chromosomes. Goldfish have 96
209. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete
210. Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego
211. If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom
212. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined
213. In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals
214. In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word
215. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak
216. In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs
217. It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is 'shake' and the 46th word from the last word is 'spear'
218. J, the youngest letter in the English alphabet, was not added until the 1600's
219. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine
220. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton
221. Most mentioned woman in the Bible: Sarah, 56 times
222. Mount Whitney, the highest mountain in the continental United States, and Zabriskie Point (in Death Valley) , the lowest point in the United States, are less than eighty miles apart
223. Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox
224. Nose prints are used to identify dogs just like humans use fingerprints
225. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag
226. Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch television for 3 hours
227. Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson”
228. Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food
229. The blesbok, a South African antelope, is almost the same color as grape juice
230. The filaments for the first electric lamp were made of bamboo
231. The Indian hero "Geronimo" was once kicked out of church for gambling
232. The katydid bug hears through holes in its hind legs
233. The lifespan of a taste bud is ten days
234. The Malay apple, which has red flowers growing directly from its stem, is the only Hawaiian fruit that was not introduced to the islands by Europeans
235. The Mayan Empire lasted six times as long as the Roman Empire
236. The mysterious vanishing lake of Amaraoti, India, Bairam Ghat, is alternately full of water for one year and dry for exactly 2 years
237. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan"
238. The Netherlands used to be known as the United States
239. The only animal besides the human which can get sunburn is the pig
240. The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven
241. The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'
242. The original Tin Man in Wizard of OZ almost died. The make-up that they used caused him to get deathly sick. They had to call in a second actor and change the make-up
243. The state song of Illinois, 'Illinois', is sung to the tune of 'Baby Mine', the lullaby from the Disney movie, DUMBO
244. The term "devil's advocate" comes from the Roman Catholic church. When deciding if someone should be sainted, a devil's advocate is always appointed to give an alternative view
245. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo
246. The word "hussy" originally meant "housekeeper"
247. The word mattress originally meant "place to throw things
248. The world's first recorded tonsillectomy was performed in the year 1,000BC
249. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old
250. There are more collect calls made on Fathers Day than on any other day of the year
251. There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones
252. There are more than 50,000 earthquakes throughout the world every year
253. When ants find food, they lay down a chemical trail, called a pheromone, so that other ants can find their way from the nest to the food source
254. Your nose and ears never stop growing
255. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers --they saw it as competition. It is not chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine
256. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
257. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."
A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament
258. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.

Story #2

Here's a story I started many years ago and still haven't finished. This one is only about 20 pages long so far, and here's an excerpt for you:



"Hello?”
“Hi…Is Steve there?” a voice said softly and hesitantly.
“No, he’s not. May I ask who’s calling please?” It wasn’t often that I picked up calls from women asking for my husband. He had his own line for business calls.
“Um…Tonya. Listen, could you, um, have him call me back as soon as he can?” I told her to wait while I got a pencil and paper and then she gave me her number. But I didn’t really register this because I think I was in shock. Tonya? His ex-girlfriend, whom he hasn’t seen or spoken to in years? My knees felt weak, my mind whirring with reasons why she would be calling us. And how did she get our number, anyway? It’s unlisted and only a few people have it.
I thought about calling Steve, but decided to wait and tell him in person. Partly to see what his reaction would be to the message.
I tried to get back to my work, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. I’m a graduate student, and I pretty much spend most of my time at home writing papers or reading textbooks. Or watching the “kids,” as I call them. Our two miniature dachshunds who are always finding some way to get themselves into trouble.
I don’t know how I managed to pass the time until Steve got home from work two hours later, but I can tell you that my mind didn’t stop wondering for a second. I’m an intensely curious person, but also slightly paranoid and insanely jealous. I can never shut my mind off, it just thinks all the time, which is probably the major reason why I’ve suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember. So you can imagine how crazy I was driving myself with my racing thoughts. Usually my vivid imagination concocts wild stories to explain things like this, but this time I couldn’t come up with any. I just had no idea why she would be calling. Of course there was the possibly that he was cheating on me, but I dismissed that right away. First, I pretty much always know where my husband is. Second, being the curious detective-type I am, something like that would never be able to be slipped past me. Pretty much everything my husband has ever tried to hide from me, I’ve found out. Including using some superior sleuthing abilities to find my hidden engagement ring.
The minute Steve came in I rushed up to him with the post-it message. “You’re not going to believe this…And you have some explaining to do. Guess who called for you today?”
“I don’t know, who?” he had that irritated look, the one he gets when he’s had a bad day or when he’s irked that I can’t even let him get settled before I spring stuff on him.
“Tonya.” The reaction I had waited for so long occurred. His eyes got huge, and he almost dropped the briefcase he was holding. His mouth dropped open, pretty much completing his shocked look.
“Do you want to tell me what this is all about? I’ve been dying here wondering why she would be calling you!” I was speaking almost breathlessly, rushing out my words to try to match the speed the thoughts flew threw my head. Of course my own paranoia had also been making me nuts all afternoon long. Is he cheating on me? What’s going on behind my back? Is there something I don’t know about? He must be hiding something from me. What isn’t he telling me? Does he still love her? What if he wants to leave me?
Tonya was Steve’s first serious relationship. He was only 17, she was 19, but it was one of those relationships that you remember forever because well, it was his first one. He lost his virginity to her. And what’s more, he had gotten her pregnant. She was a freshman in college when it happened, and was perfectly willing to do the marriage and baby thing with him. In fact, she actually sort of tricked him into getting her pregnant, using his naiveté about birth control to her advantage. But Steve was still in high school, and I don’t think he was really in love with her. Oh, at that time I’m sure he thought he was, just as we all used to confuse that lusty infatuation feeling with love when we were young. Or maybe it was just the sex. But Steve callously told her how it was: he didn’t want to get married, mostly just not to her, and he wasn’t ready to be a father. He demanded her to get an abortion, and reluctantly, she agreed. And that was pretty much it for them. Oh, except for that they stayed together just long enough after that for Tonya to become involved with Steve’s best friend (or maybe it was really his baby?). So he really ultimately left her because she cheated on him…kinda makes me wonder what would have happened otherwise.
He hasn’t spoken to her or seen her since, although I have, ironically enough. I actually ended up going to the same undergrad college she was at, and had a class or two with her. One time my best friend found her unconscious in the bathroom at school and probably saved her life. I regret to admit that I was with Summer at that time, and I wouldn’t have helped her. I even urged Summer not to. That’s what a hateful, jealous person I am. Thinking back on it gives me chills, because she might have died, and I wouldn’t have saved her. It makes me feel like a murderer.
And why did I hate her so much? I didn’t even know her, really. I hated her just because she was Steve’s ex-girlfriend, that she had shared the same secret intimate things with him that I have, and because he loved her. But I hate her even more because I feel like she stole something from me. The child that they created, in my crazy viewpoint, was Steve’s first baby. That’s something you can never erase. Maybe some other girls wouldn’t have been bothered by that. But again, maybe I’m just a little bit more neurotic or closer to the psychotic edge than most. Because that really bothered me for the longest time. Now in the almost six years that we’ve been together, I’ve had other things to replace that burning nuisance in my mind. But it still lurks around back there, sometimes rearing it’s head and demanding me to chew on it for awhile. Like now, for instance.
Steve pulled me out of my reverie by responding that he had no idea why she would be calling. Did I really believe him?
“Well, call her and find out what she wants!” I went and picked up our portable phone and shoved it toward him. He still looked shocked, and maybe even afraid. As if he didn’t want to know, and he certainly didn’t want to call her.
But on this issue, his curiosity was as strong as mine. He put down his work stuff, took off his suit jacket, and sat down on the couch with the phone and the post-it note. Slowly, he punched in the numbers and then held the phone awkwardly to his head, as if it was hot like a stove burner and would scorch his ear. I noticed that he didn’t look at me. He didn’t want to see the angry, you-better-not-have-done-anything look on my face, didn’t want to meet my eyes. Did that infer guilt?
I saw his expression change and assumed she must have picked up the phone. Just as hesitantly as she had, he said hello and asked if he was speaking to Tonya. Then nothing but silence for several minutes as he listened to what she was saying.
Meanwhile, I think I was going even more crazy. Plus, my heart was fluttering in my chest and my palms were getting clammy. I was nervous, worried. Driving myself batty with my speeding synaptic transmissions. His expressions weren’t helping at all, either. Steve looked like he was going to pass out. If I thought he had looked shocked before, I was wrong. That was only surprise. This was flat out systemic disbelief. It almost appeared like he was withering, deflating in size, shrinking into the deep plum cushions of our oversized couch.
Finally, he croaked out some words. “Umm…I don’t know…about that…” But then she must have gone back to talking some more, because that was all he said for another few minutes.
What could possibly fluster my husband so much? The man was like marble. Well, maybe more like one of those porous rocks. He is actually pretty sensitive and emotional, and not a complete Neanderthal. But he was like that only with me. He would never let people get to him, or show others his true colors. He takes everything very rationally, logically, or sometimes with a rebellious “I don’t care, it’s not my business” kind of attitude. She must have been telling him something totally profound for it to have such an effect on him. And of course that only made me more distraught.
“Well, I still don’t know…I need some time…” Another minute of silence, then a hopeless sounding sigh and an okay, and he hung up. I waited for him to look up at me, to start spilling all the details, but he only sat in thick, tense silence and hung his head. Was he crying? Being the modern caveman that he is, he does cry occasionally if something really gets to him.
“So, are you going to fill me in or what?” I asked impatiently.
“You don’t want to know” was all he said, without looking up.

Story #1

Here is one of the novels, or stories, that I am working on writing. This one hasn't come very far. But I thought I'd post up the first section and see what anyone thought of it. Feel free to review it and share feedback (you can post a comment directly on here). I haven't figured out a title for it yet.

This story is coming from my professional angle: it's a story about a therapist whose client divulges a shocking secret which threatens to destroy the therapist's own personal life--but what can she do about it, without betraying her ethical code of confidentiality to her client?


I looked at the clock. My last patient of the day was probably sitting out in the waiting room. I got up from behind my desk and went out to look.
Sandra was indeed sitting in one of the plush chairs I had chosen to adorn my waiting room, reading this month’s Cosmopolitan. She looked up as I came out and greeted me with a warm smile. “Hey, Doc. Are you ready for me?” She set the magazine down and stood up to follow me.
Sandra was an attractive blond in her mid 30’s, the kind of woman with legs that seem to go on forever and always looked smooth and freshly waxed. I had been seeing her now for seven months. I had found it easy to like and bond with her, despite my typical presumptions about blonds with long legs, big breasts, and lots of make-up. I noticed that Sandra seemed brighter than her usual state over the past few months; she almost had a glow about her. She also had changed from her typical outfit of sweats and sneakers into a cute pink gingham sundress and strappy sandals.
She had come in to see me after the break up of her marriage. She had been devastated by her husband’s infidelity. Sandra hadn’t a clue that her seemingly loving husband was fooling around on her for almost a year with one of her best friends.
“How are you today, Dr. Leighton?” I always hated to be asked that question by my patients. Granted, the question can be just a formality, like saying “hi,” but really, how did my patients expect me to answer? I pretty much had to say “good.” I mean, imagine their shock if I would reply with something like, “Well, my husband and I haven’t had sex in two months and I just saw a couple in here who thinks their marriage is going to end because the wife just doesn’t feel like dressing up like a French Maid anymore and if that’s a problem then whoah! Let me tell you about some of mine!”
Sandra took her usual place on the end of the couch and curled up seductively.
“I’ve been looking forward to coming in here today, Doc. I mean, even more than usual. I have something really exciting to tell you.” Sandra’s chipper state was really a change from her usual one of constant tears and sulking. I wondered what had happened. I was about to ask when Sandra continued.
“I met someone.” She gave me a huge smile and waited for my response.
“You met someone?” I was surprised. Though making progress in therapy, Sandra was still at the point where she claimed she would loathe and avoid men forever more. I had judged her to be nowhere near ready for a new relationship, and was even more stunned that she had been looking for one.
“Yeah. Oh my God, he’s just great. Everything that Clark was not.” She leaned back into the couch, closed her eyes and smiled a dreamy “I’m so in love” kind of smile.
Now I was even more flabbergasted. She had just met someone, and already knew enough about him to make a statement such as this? Both my personal and professional mind were skeptical.
“Tell me about it.” Instead of sharing any of my presumptuous thoughts in the form of some subtle clinical question, I thought I’d let her explain.

Being the mother of a toddler (and other musings)

And I thought being a new mother was tough!! I'm finding out that being the mother of a newborn is nothing compared to being the mother of a toddler. Every day presents itself as another opportunity for my daredevil daughter to risk her life in new and creative ways. I think my heart has stopped several times in the past few weeks: once when I saw her standing in our pond, once when I saw her standing on our glass picnic table outside, once when I saw her standing atop our steep and rickety pool deck about to dive into our pool, once as she got out the front gate and ran towards the road, once when I saw her climbing the stove and reaching for a steak knife, once when she ran out the front door of a store towards a major highway....and none of these times was either myself or my husband more than 10 feet away from her!! And thank goodness for that, or she would have been toast a long time ago. It seems like I can't even blink anymore, because in that second she could be leaping to a new challenge. And now I have to take her with me to the bathroom (or wherever I go) for fear of what danger she might get into in the minute or two I might be gone.

And though I haven't raised a teenager, I remember being one myself (vaguely) and there is something very adolescent about a toddler. They can go from happy to tantrum in less than 2 seconds, experience several diverse emotions in a short period of time, flip out over the slightest thing, and insist that their demands must be met RIGHT NOW, OR ELSE! Not to mention that they don't like what you try to dress them in, nothing you give them seems to hold their attention or make them happy, they try to go home with strangers or grandma (who would of course be a better parent than you!), they don't want to go to bed at bedtime, and they don't behave well in public.

Speaking of which, what happened to the baby who loved to go to the mall? And for car rides? Now I must choose between leaving the house or retaining my sanity. Example number 1, the Blockbuster episode. Unable to hold my squirming and kicking toddler, I set her down and she runs through the store like a lunatic, grabbing movies and flinging them everywhere. If I go one way to catch her, she runs the other. So the chase goes throughout the store until I give up. I let her run amuk and try to get my mission accomplished quickly. But my chest is clenching up because I'm so worried about her being kidnapped or something. Meanwhile I hear the whispers (or are they just in my head) of people saying, "Where is her mother?" "Who's watching her?" Finally I can't take it and go to get her, only to find her lying on her back under a display eating a huge container of milk duds she had stolen. I had to drag her out by her legs--again kicking and screaming, but now with chocolately froth spit oozing and flinging out of her mouth. Of course there were people standing right there, looking at me as if I was the worst mother ever. Then, being the honest person I am, I had to come up with $2 to buy the damn candy that you know I was never going to give back to her!!!!! Of course, an even huger tantrum commenced once I pried the box of milk duds out of her hands. While trying to pay for them. And hold the wiggling baby. Now imagine if we had stayed in Blockbuster for more than 5 minutes...

Another great kicker: I'm the one who feeds her, bathes her, buys her every toy at the store and then some, holds her when she gets hurt, and changed my world to revolve around her--and yet who does she want to be with? Her grandmother! She will always pick her grandmother over me. Why? I give her good snacks. The best toys, and lots of them. I let her get dirty, run around in just a diaper, and all those crazy things. I let her watch TV and eat junk food more than she should. I make special meals just for her.

I just don't know... But then I can't hold it against her, because I did the same thing. My grandmother took care of me from the time I was a few weeks old until I was in high school. I got off the bus at her house, and when my parents came to pick me up at night I never wanted to go with them. Mammy's house was the best place to be. Why? She did make me the best snacks, or any meal I wanted. She had great toys. She let me watch "Divorce Court" and soap operas. I loved the swing in the back yard, and the huge hill to run or sled down. But I think what is most distinct is that she never yelled at me. Nothing I could do was wrong. Made a mess? No big deal, we'll just clean it up. I made this meal for you and you don't want to eat it? Well, that's okay, we'll save it for later and maybe you'll be hungry then. You broke that toy I just got for you? Well, it was made cheap anyway and Mammy can buy you a new one.

So is it because grandparents don't yell or discipline? I've seen my parents yell at my daughter. And she laughs at them, the same as she laughs at us when we try to discipline her.
I also try to follow this attitude of "it's no big deal" with my daughter. I try to be laid back and "cool." But she still prefers her grandmother. My mother says it is sweet revenge, for all those times I rejected her in favor of my grandmother.

And what changes so much in a woman from when she is a mother, until she becomes a grandmother? Because all those things my daughter might prefer in her grandmother were not things my mother did as a mother (bringing her fries from McDonald's, taking her to the toy asile every time they go to the store, singing while driving, etc.) . Or traits she had as a mother ("don't worry about it"). There seems to be a major "relaxation" of sorts as time goes on, a more easy-going attitude. But maybe this is just my story, and not true or applicable for anyone else.

In summary, think of those rough first 6 weeks as merely a basic training course for what's up ahead around 13-18 months. It gets a lot worse! You'll still be sleep deprived, but now you can't even nod off (or blink). You'll still be getting up at night (for different reasons) and changing poopy diapers (as well as cleaning pee up off the floor when she refuses to go in her potty or runs off naked after her bath). You'll have a toddler who can whine and make simple demands--"Mommy NOW!"--as well as cry bloody murder. You'll be trying to get stains out of your clothes instead of hers. And she'll be able to undress herself, climb, run away, be purposefully defiant, steal and wreck things, phone a foreign country (when she gets ahold of the phone), tell gradma you beat her, torture the dog...(need I go on?)

New Parent Advice

I finally gathered some wisdom about being a new parent and other such things. I'm not claiming to be an expert, but am merely sharing some things from my experience, friends' experiences, plus some of my knowledge from my professional experiences in some cases. Hopefully it might help someone out there.

Advice for New Parents
1. If you sleep when the baby sleeps, you'll never get anything done and your house will be a disaster.
2. On the other hand, realize what's most important. Playing with, reading to, or holding your child is more important than dishes that need to get done.
3. The first 6 weeks are really rough, but honestly, it gets a lot easier and routines develop. Then get ready for toddlerhood, because it's a lot more tough!
4. Don't worry about spoiling your baby--there is no such thing. So what if she sleeps in your bed for 6-12 months? So what if she has another cookie? Letting your child know she is loved and making her feel secure is most important.
5. As hard as it is, you need to make time for your relationship or you will drift apart. Having a new baby challenges a relationship. Try to go out on a date--just the 2 of you--at least once a week, or once a month if that's too much. Try to make time for the 2 of you to talk every night or as often as possible. The best time to do this is after the baby goes to sleep at night.
6. Don't rush your baby into any milestones or compare her to other babies. She'll do things when she's ready.
7. Don't fret over small things (and most of it is small stuff). A stain on your shirt does not really matter. Pee on the floor can be cleaned up. Your pediatrician might get you all worried about something that turns out to be nothing. Just relax!!!
8. Splurge on a video monitor (a baby monitor that comes with a TV screen you can put at your bedside). It gives you peace of mind, being able to watch your baby breathe without having to get up and check every minute or potentially disturb the baby.
9. Document everything. Write down milestones, first times, funny things that happened that day, etc. If you don't have your baby book handy, just write it down on a scrap of paper so at least you have it down, and copy it in later. You will want to remember all these details later. Also consider taking up scrapbooking as a hobby, it's a great way to preserve memories, stories, and photos.
10. Don't give up on breastfeeding, if it is something you really want to do. Keep trying harder, longer, seek professional help if all else fails. You may really regret giving up later.
11. Don't be afraid of taking too many photos--you can't have too many photos of your child's first few years. Consider splurging on a digital camera which will actually save you money because you can delete all those shots that don't get, and you can also save them on your computer for back up.
12. Despite how you may feel beforehand, being a mother really does come instinctively. You will know (more so, you will FEEL) what to do.
13. Don't EVER shake your baby, even for a second!! If you feel at all overwhelmed, leave baby safe in her crib, close her bedroom door, and walk away. Call someone, put on music or the TV to drown out the crying, go outside, etc. But make sure that you've first ruled out anything that might be causing her to cry (dirty diaper, hungry, cold, illness). [see below for ways to soothe baby]
14. Never leave your baby alone on her changing table for even a second. If you need to bend over to pick up something you dropped or such, leave your hand firmly on her chest or just put her in her crib untiil you have everything together.
15. There are ways to save money on things--see below for cost saving tips.
16. Buy diapers in bulk. Not only is this cheaper, but you won't be running out every week for more. Babies go through A LOT of diapers. However, don't buy too many of one kind if you don't know for sure if you like them. I highly recommed Pampers Swaddler for sizes newborn-2 (they only come up to size 2) and then Pampers Cruisers or Luvs. I and everyone I've talked to agree that Huggies stink, they leak and do not fit as well. Although their overnight diapers are not too bad. For generic diapers, I like Eckerd brand (with Snoopy on them) which are strong enough to last overnight but they really aren't much cheaper than name brand ones. K-Mart and Wal-Marts generic diapers are not that great, K-Mart's pretty awful actually. Although their newborn size worked the best for my daughter when she was first born because they were tiny enough. But the tabs are lousy.
17. My other favorite baby products: Huggies brand Mango & Coconut body wash and lotion, Johnson & Johnson scented baby power (vanilla and jasmie is really nice), Aveeno diaper rash cream (no scent, I HATE the smell of that popular brand, Desitin?), Johnson & Johnson naturals line, especially the face lotion stick, Gerber juice (Beechnut jars can be very hard to open).
18. Consider joining a book club for children, if you like books. There's one called Children's Book of the Month club. Overall, it comes out much cheaper to get books for your child (for example, your intro package will include 6-9 books for a total of around $30--one alone in the store will probably run you $12-15).


Top Baby Soothers
1. car rides (although this will probably only last until he/she learns to walk)
2. warm milk
3. blanket, swaddling baby securely in a blanket
4. music, particularly country or lullabyes
5. pacifiers, or let her suck on your finger
6. change of person
7. change of scenery (take baby outside, for a ride, visit family, to a different room, etc.)
8. going for a walk/stroller ride
9. being held OR being put down (sometimes babies get too stimulated or need alone time)
10. singing to baby
11. distraction (put on baby friendly TV, give a snack, change of scenery, give a toy, etc.)
12. quiet time, alone time in crib possibly with soft relaxing music
13. baby massage
14. warm bath (although this got my daughter more energized)
Things I've found that aren't so good
1. vacuums (I read before my daugher was born that babies like the sound of vacuums, but I haven't heard of a single baby yet who doesn't scream when it's on)
2. dryer (it can actually be unsafe to leave baby in car seat on dryer)
3. other types of music (even "heavier" classical can be more stimulating than relaxing to a baby)
4. "adult" TV
5. avoid loud sounds (this seems obvious, but I know some men who crank up the stereo volume in response to a crying baby)

Things I wish people had told me before I had a baby/gave birth
1. Kids are expensive. Like you know they're going to be expensive, but they are even more so than you had anticipated. BUT somehow, things usually work out. Probably because you sacrifice things for youself so your child can have things.
2. After childbirth, you bleed A LOT for A LONG TIME. No one told me to buy pads in bulk. And bring home a bunch of those icy pack ones the hospital has, you'll need them. Or if not, try bags of frozen peas to sit on.
3. Having milk-engorged breasts is really messy and you basically have to wear a bra and pads all the time. Not very comfortable.
4. You will fight with your spouse a lot more (for example, "Whose getting up at 3 am for the 4th time?")
5. Taking a childbirth class really is important and necessary. And make sure your significant other goes, too, so your childbirth coach will know how to help you.
6. Labor drugs (e.g. epidural) may not actually help you, and could even make things worse for you. Not to mention that they do have an effect on the baby.
7. Going along with that, make sure you have a back up plan to your ideal birth plan. Don't be 100% certain you're going to do it natural, and then be totally unprepared when you have to be induced or you need a C-section and your plan goes to hell.
8. Make sure you have the camcorder rolling (present somewhere in the room) when the big moment happens--you probably won't think to turn it on in those final few minutes, and you don't want to miss it.
9. YOU. WILL. BE. SLEEP. DEPRIVED. For months. Or years. Get used to it.
10. No one told me how utterly wonderful, amazing, rewarding, and worth it all it is to have a child. If you didn't before, you will understand the meaning of unconditional love.

Money saving tips for new or to-be parents
1. clip coupons (or have family members do it for you)
2. sign up for coupons on the internet at your formula's website, or Pampers for diapers, at stores in the mall for children's clothing, etc.
3. buy diapers in bulk (e.g. BJ's or Sam's Club) and make sure to use those coupons too
4. instead of buying movies, tape them off of TV or just tape 1/2 hour shows OR join Netflix which is much cheaper (for $10-18 a month you can get tons of Baby Einstein or other videos, versus $15-20 to buy one)
5. sign up not only yourself, but your best friend and mother to receive formula discount coupons
6. become a yard sale junkie--recruit family members from different towns to alert you when there's one around
7. go to used kids' stuff stores--some things are not much cheaper, but it's still cheaper and sometimes you can get good deals
8. share or exchange things with a friend who has a baby (rotate toys, share clothes, split extras you have of something)
9. ask family or a friend to baby-sit instead of hiring a sitter
10. get a digital camera--as I mentioned above, it's more up front but it will save you money not having to develop all those blurry or "missed the moment" pictures
11. watch for sales and look for clearance racks. Department and big name stores may have expensive baby clothing, but when it gets marked down you can get great stuff cheap! For example, end of winter sale at Baby Gap got my daughter a gorgeous wool coat for $19, Macy's sale got her a fancy $80 dress for only $13. I've gotten things for less than a $1 at Macy's. Old Navy and Baby Gap are also places where things get marked down to as low as $1-3 when they hit the clearance rack.


(If I think of more things, I will add them in later. If I'm missing some things you think are good, email me and I will add them).

Photos from Gary Allen concert

Here are some photos from the Gary Allen concert at Penn's Peak on March 11. I took a lot of pictures but they didn't get very well, so the two I posted were ones that came out the best. The bottom one is of me and my Mom, who was working at the concert that night. She got my Grandmother and I tickets.

Yes, the concert was good. I got to go up in the VIP box briefly, courtesy of my Mom and her friend who was on duty working up there. That was a really cool experience! My favorite Gary Allen song is "Smoke Rings in the Dark" although I also really like "Life Isn't Always Beautiful." One of the neat concert moments was when the piano/keyboard player (who seemed tipsy from the beginning of the concert) drank an entire Corona while playing with the other hand. I appreciate this as a pianist, though, not as someone who drinks!

New scrapbooking pages

This is a page I made to showcase Alaina's article that was in the Times News. The best thing about this page is that it was really cheap to make! I got a pack of 8 pieces of paper for $1 at Dollar Tree and I cut 2 in half and spliced together. The round, metallic circles going down the left side were also $1, in a pack of 12. I used scraps of paper and my stamp set to make the rest.
This is a page I made for Dave. I like it because it's simple, yet "geometrically complex." You can't see the shapes behind the photo too well, but I angled a diamond behind the square, and then another square behind that. I didn't worry about cutting any of the white word squares even, tho.
I really like this page. I used 5 different shades and patterned green papers, most of them handmade papers which were ripped for effect. The grass and butterflies are stickers, as well as the yellow flowers at the top (which are cheap stickers from Wal-Mart). I used some digital scrapbooking techniques--printing out text onto 12 X 12 patterend paper, which I cut down to fit into my printer.
This is a really cute page. It's a teddy bear theme. It's hard to see in the photo, but I used 2 different papers, tearing the red half and pasting over the white side. I searched online for a poem about teddy bears and I found this cute one, entitled "If Teddy Bears Ruled the World" which I think really sets off the page. Well, I'm not thrilled with the placement, but the page needed some sort of words or sayings on it to complete it.